When children show up with big feelings, we have to make sure that it does not interfere with the flow of their day. This can go in both directions. If children are super excited, they may be super distracted. If a children are very sad, they may be very unmotivated. How can we help children with big feelings to show up for the expectations set out for them? When children experience big feelings, it can overwhelm them, understandably so! That doesn’t mean they are excused from what they need to do. They may need a little hand holding to get there. Communication is one of your biggest allies (amongst staying calm and empathetic) to move children towards action.
Scenario:
Child refuses to go to classroom and runs to door to go to exciting activity:
1. Observe and label- “You are so excited for the bouncy house?”
Child gets frustrated and overwhelmed by his want
2. Remind – ” As soon as you hang up your coat and backpack we will check the schedule for when it is time to go.”
Child continues to get flooded with disappointment
3. Validate- “It’s ok to feel sad that you can’t go right now, I know it may not feel good, and it’s ok.”
This a great place to start for behavior modification. With presence and conversation, children feel less overwhelmed by their feelings.
Gentle Aspect: As children process big feelings, adults stay close-by offering compassion, and guidance, until the feeling has passed. Children are not left alone.
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