Children can be defiant and not do what is asked of them. They can dig their heels in and refuse, for all sorts of reasons. As caregivers we cajole, incentivise and possibly mention consequences; all in the spirit of directing children to good choices. Sometimes none of that works and a children’s heels are dug in for the long haul. How do we get them to let go? This is a pivotal teaching moment. We, as the caregivers need to let go FIRST. We need to readjust the expectation. By doing so, we teach children how to redirect themselves and let go as well. This one’s hard because it may feel like the child “got away with something.” In these instances, I say, “Cut your losses for the greater good.” There’s some loss in the spirit of ultimate gain. Maybe your child at first refused to follow the schedule but then when you offered to move the schedule around so a more likeable activity was closer to the front of the line, the child was able to display flexibility and undig those heels.
Gentle Aspect: Instead of a power struggle to the bitter end, we teach children it’s not about whose in charge it’s about flexibility and moving forward.
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